Keep Holding On

May 16, 2015



It all started when I entered a room full of smiling people. All of them greet me and say 'Hi'. I saw my myself smiling back.. which I never did after all the pain.



I sat on the front chair while our adviser, Ma'am Elaine is discussing about the school rules and regulations. I search the room and find my best friend, Pam, waving at me.





Wow. I really missed her. 



I just realized that I'm with my old classmates. Carlo, Ate Cyril, Van, Rose, Lyn, Mariz and a lot more.





Good times.. I missed all of them. 



I excuse myself to go outside and I saw my mom and dad waiting for me which is funny, because, in real life, my mom and dad are not together anymore.



He look so responsible. He's very matured enough.  He's seems so different. 




My mom ask me, "Gusto mo bang dito na mag-aral?" 





My heart skipped a bit and I feel like I'm floating on the Cloud 9.


"Gustong gusto."  I replied.


We went downstairs to enroll me and buy me books, uniforms and other school supplies.




My mom wishpered on my ear. "Gusto ko kasi masaya ka." 



I can't speak that time. It's surreal. She realize how happy I was back then. She knows how much I love to go back to my old school. She finally understand what I feel.



We went outside the building and saw how beautiful the sun was, like he's telling me "Welcome back."





I feel the warm. I love this feeling.


I closed my eyes. 
























Then I woke up.. 



It was just a dream. A stupid dream that will never happen in real life.

I don't know what to do..



I try to close my eyes again hoping that I will come back in that scenario. But.. it never happened. 



All memories flashback.. the crazy flood moments, the late dismissal, my bestfriends, laughters, smiles, tears, my dream of becoming one of the journalist in the school paper, hopes, dramas.. It will never happen.. again.



I woke up because of my mom, she's talking with my uncle over the phone. My mom ask me what I want for breakfast, I just say "Kahit ano." 



I'm not in the mood for anything.



I want to blame her for not transfering me to my old school. I want to tell her how I really feel.




But I can't.




I just cry silently.




I missed all of them. I missed it.. so much.




I wished that I never woke up that morning.




I just want to live in that beautiful dream of second chances. 













But this is the fucking real life.. 

'"There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth" 

―Avril Lavigne, Keep Holding On

―Jeanne